Is Mumbai really that tolerant?

And this is just between the Hindus, mind you

One of the things that surprised me when I came to Mumbai was the fact that people addressed others not with their names, but with nicknames like Ghati, Dhokla, Bhaiyya and Paaji. Hearing it again and again, it irritated me to no bounds. I found it highly derogatory. I thought, ‘This is the Mumbai which takes pride in calling itself cosmopolitan?’

By these standards, my hometown, Nagpur, was far more cosmo as compared to Mumbai. We did not call each other ghati or dhokla or something. There is an abundance of north Indians, including Punjabis, in Nagpur. They are either ‘Hindi-siders’ or ‘Punju’. Not Paaji or Bhaiyya. And while Gujju and Maru exist for my Gujarati and Marwari friends, it is by no means offensive.

Agreed, there was considerable resistance for some time to Biharis, after some notorious engineering college incidents including a murder. So much so that some Bihari ‘good boys’ or bright students refrained from revealing their true identity, saying they were from U.P. and had no connection to Bihar. But otherwise, no such thing.

The area where I’ve stayed all my life is Dhantoli – literally meaning an area full of wealth. When my grandfather Dr. A. S. Parande bought our huge house for the joint family, Dhantoli was still a jungle. Pretty much like that old woman in ‘Harishchandrachi Factory’ describes Mumbai’s Dadar area as a jungle in the 1920s. Just imagine!

So yeah, from Nagpur’s ‘town’, near the business district in the east, the Parande family shifted to Dhantoli, a central location. The family was big and with a number of illustrious and knowledgeable people. On one end of our lane stayed another eminent Parande family – that of Mr G.T. Parande, former Editor and Ombudsman of The Hitavada. The entire lane used to be called ‘Parandyanchi Galli’ (the Parande Lane), until the ’90s when an official name took over right from the G.T.Parande end to the Dr. A.S. Parande end (thanks to some amount which is supposed to be paid to the municipality, I believe).

Well, so coming back to my point. In this Dhantoli, I grew up with a lot of Gujaratis, Marwaris, Jains, Bengalis and Maharashtrians around me. There was never a feeling that we as Maharashtrians needed to dominate the place – no. This population extended to the posh Ramdaspeth and now Shankar Nagar and beyond on all sides.

Most of the Punjabis, Sindhis, other north Indians, Christians and Muslims primarily stay in north and east Nagpur – some middle-class and many with pretty bungalows. Parsis also find a place among them.

I really don’t remember what the situation was in certain areas during the riots. I was too young then. But I remember north Nagpur and probably Mominpura being tense, apart from the cantonment town of Kamptee.

We might have the headquarters of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS) in the city, but we are generally peace-loving people. The common man is too busy earning to even remember they exist. I think Mumbai is far more intolerant towards not only other religions, but also within the Hindu community. This does not show on the surface, as we work side-by-side, but it’s seething within and brings out its ugly head during anxious political moments or in words like ghati, dhokla, and mulla, maka pao, bawa…

In Maharashtrians, we use the word ‘Ghati’ as well. It means someone who is low class or downmarket. So, it can be used for any person or object.

In Mumbai, I’m told we are ‘ghatis’ because we belong to the Western Ghats. Well, if that’s really the case, then it’s OK. But I don’t think that’s really the case.

I have heard two of my non-Marathi seniors in two different jobs say ‘Ghati accent mein baat kar raha hain’. Hello! What the hell do you mean? When you speak your mother tongue, or rather bombard us with it, many words and expressions sound straight out of a village. Do we then, say anything to you? When you call ‘shit’ ‘sheet’? When you get so engrossed that you sound absolutely ‘vernac’ – you pseudo intellectuals. What do you say to this, folks? Hey, no offence.

Every region has dialects within a community, and people with different traits and habits within the same community. And every region has people from all economic backgrounds and political leanings. You cannot judge the entire community based on some samples. Stop doing that! Whether for Maharashtrians, or any other community/religion/nationality.

But yes, coming from cosmo Nagpur, when we meet our Marathi friends, too, we speak in Hindi. That comes to us naturally, and not because we want to stay away from Marathi.

In Pune, though, everybody speaks Marathi. I was a bit shocked to see that. Youngsters happily chatting away in American English, or Marathi – which is not the case with at least the convent-educated crowd in Nagpur. But in Pune, everyone takes to the language – right from the Muslim rickshawallah to the Surd (is that derogatory?) who runs a showroom. But then, it’s the language of business to them and they are fluent in it, as it brings in the moolah. But the thousands of outside students also pick it up and are not ashamed of speaking it. The problem lies only in Mumbai – with many communities staking a claim to the city.

Many of my relatives staying in Tamil Nadu or Kerala have picked up the language there, even speaking it at home instead of Marathi. When Marathi people can adopt and adapt, why can’t others? There is no compulsion to learn Marathi or speak in it, but why do you consciously stay away from it? What’s wrong with it? It’s a beautiful language. You have probably heard your maid speaking a version of it, which is completely different from the rich literature. Marathi is as sweet as any other language. You just have been listening too much to the crude version.

When we go to Delhi or Punjab, we pick up the accent and use it till we are there. It comes naturally. Why not in Maharashtra then? Give it a thought.

Maharashtrians are laughed at for being too soft, and when we are not, we suddenly turn bad. Not fair, guys. Don’t victimise us because we choose to take it in our stride. We are cool people. But don't use that to your advantage.

Plus, what I have written is for all communities, if you read between the lines. Then why fight?

P.S. Any reference to any living individual or incident is purely intentional, but not intended to hurt, rather bridge the divide. Empathy expected rather than retaliation.